Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Struggling You.

Here I’m sitting in the kitchen with my netbook up on the table, forcing my fingers to move along the keys typing things that I don’t really want to, thinking about things that I’ve been trying to avoid, and listening to a song that I found on a new blog that I’ve been reading. Everyone needs to check out Wild Country by Wake Owl. Wow. That’s music my friends. Exactly my style that I absolutely love, that I could put on repeat for days and days and still be moved by the words that are sung. Anyway. I should stop procrastinating and just get to what it is that I (don’t) want to write. --

Dear struggling highschool you,

Why do you care so much? About the things you think other people do? Is it worth losing sleep worrying about the things you do? Trust me, staying up late rereading quickly scribbled notes for a class that could have easily put you asleep is not worth it. You’re only going to do as good as what your potential is. And frankly, maybe science isn’t your thing after all. Accept it, admit it, move on. Falling to peer pressure is not worth it either. You definitely did not need to funnel who-knows-what in 4 seconds flat, just to be cheered on for 5 seconds after. No crowd lifts a drunk high in the air without dropping them eventually anyway. And nobody deserves broken bones. Or a burning throat. Forcing yourself to do things you hate isn’t worth it either. If you don’t like an extracurricular activity, don’t do it. Sounds simple, but it’s pretty hard when the majority of your friends are involved and all you want to do and all you want to achieve is just to be simply accepted. That’s why you signed up in the first place, right? Oh, innocent grade six you, if you only knew… to belong should never have to sacrifice. It’s okay to quit what you hate. Medals on the wall do not replace the weekends and time you missed for your family. Period. It’s okay to feel alone sometimes. There’s no worse feeling than seeing a hallway full of people, but having no one to share the space beside you with. Embrace that moment. This is where you’re going to learn who truly are inside. Don’t let the negative feelings and thoughts consume you – they lie, and they steal. You’re worth it. Keep doing what you’re doing, because you are strong. Don’t let anything or anyone tell you otherwise. Always, always, always believe this. Get help if you can’t. You’re going to make mistakes. Learn from them. Because you’re going to grow from no matter what you did. And nobody wants to grow up to be a weed. Weeds aren’t cool… and nobody likes weeds :). Do not judge. You were once that kid who didn’t have a friend to hang around with because your weirdness was just too much for a person to handle. Don’t let other people hear you speak an opinion about someone else. Ever. If you absolutely feel like you have to, keep those thoughts to yourself. Always do. Because those thoughts are going to be running back, and the finger will be pointing at you. Be honest with yourself. Do not trick yourself into thinking that driving with a drunk driver is ever okay. It’s not. Because eventually you’re going to start to believe that it’s okay for YOU to drive drunk. And that is never, ever okay. Your life is worth so much more than that 15 cent 60 oz empty bottle you just wasted on that yield sign at the intersection before last. There’s so much more to life than drunken nights and smashed glass. Don’t believe those who tell you differently – because they do not know what to think. There is so many cliques. Honestly, you can’t avoid them. It’s of human nature to want to feel like you belong. Find one that you can be you in. You should never feel uncomfortable or awkward. Unless you actually are awkward… then find awkward people like you and talk about the awkward things you do. Maybe you aren’t actually awkward and all this time you thought that you were awkward, you were actually normal. More normal than skinny jeans, fake nails, and big boobs anyway. Mature men don’t play with barbies. That’s all I’m going to say. Take some time for you. Do the things you like to do. Feed those entertaining thoughts, and be creative with who you are. You’re going to go far in life. You’re going to achieve things you would never believe you ever could. This loneliness will pass. And when you graduate, you will never, ever look back. Because those are just memories and lessons learned. It’s time to move on at last. Always remember. This is you. This is your life. These are your choices.

Take care of yourself,
A new ME

SIDE NOTE: A new Video of the Week has been posted. It seems like years since I changed that, soooo you should check it out. Also write me comments. Lots of them. Because comments are cool. And I think you're cool. :) :D

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Falling, Calling, Taken Away

It’s four hundred degrees but your skin is still cold,
My friend, what have you become?
Take me back where you belong.
This doesn’t feel right anymore
Sitting there with that sweater on, singing some song
You make me feel as if some kind of animal,
Swimming in shallow waters, late in the fall
You always catch me off guard,
My friend where have you gone?
It’s like amazing grace, but without the found,
This won’t make sense to the average,
But to you I’m a savage,
So watch me drown, going down
You’re eating me away like algae in the sea,
No gain, no more pain as your fee, I’m free,
My friend who have you become?
My body, what have you done.

We’re gone.