A Little Summer Breeze

Since I have this weird tonsillitis going on that doesn't let me sleep, I'll let you know what I've been up to. This spring/summer I decided I wanted to keep on track with my program I'm enrolled in and take a full load of classes rather than work full time over these 'free' four months. Perhaps my decision would be different if online classes were available for business school, but unfortunately in-class was the only option. For a little cash on the side, I've been writing reviews for music. It's not much but it's enjoyable to hear new and different bands and it's quite easy to write a quick opinion on each track. Oh! & I'm also excited to announce that I will officially have my diploma in 21 days time.

What I've been appreciating most is that my parents brought up my bike here from home and I've been taking pleasure in doing that. To bike from my place to Wascana park takes about fifteen to twenty minutes, depending on the traffic lights. It's really beautiful and I enjoy it every time I ride there - which can take up to an hour or so if you pedal the whole lake. The geese in the city are like cattle in the country - you can get fairly close to them and they don't really freak out. It's pretty cool. Maybe I'm just a geek and enjoy these little things haha.

Other than spending July 1st at the lake with family, I haven't done anything too exciting. I did however, get invited by my cousin to attend my first ever concert; Ed Sheeran! I was really grateful for the opportunity to experience it. Thanks Tara!

I've only made one or two trips home since April, but my mom did spend some time with me here in the city for a week. That was really a good time and I felt really at home with her here with me. When it's just us, we can take our time and do our own thing and not be in a rush to get things done. Love you mom!

My sister and I were planning on doing a quick overnight roadtrip with each other this weekend but both of us were blindsided with illness. Hopefully we can make up for that before the summer is over. Meanwhile, antibiotic on!

I've also been taking part in church shopping with Brittany which is some good cousin-sister bonding time that is much needed by the end of the week. So far we've tried out a good handful of churches but I haven't been dead-set on one so far. I do really like attending the Ap on Saturday nights though. The worship team(s) are yet to be beat! Sooo good.

I've also became friends with some really great people this year! As much of an introvert as I am, I still enjoy spending lots of one-on-one time with my closest friends. Each of them is unique and close to my heart. Between church dates, biking, picnics, movie dates, and late night chats, phone calls, rider games, letter readings/writings,and  exhibition entertainment, facebook sticker wars, and snapchat giggles, young adults gatherings, the odd IVCF meet up, and planned get togethers I admire each and every one of these friends. I wish I had always this kind of love in my life! If someone could tell me I'd find genuine relationships eventually, perhaps I wouldn't have been so miserable in highschool! But nevertheless, no regrets.

Before the summer is over, I'd like to also make it out to Regina beach at least once. I also plan on going to the Regina folk festival in two weeks time to enjoy some Vance Joy! I'm pretty excited for that. I also have tickets to two more Rider games which I'm also looking forward to. Kent & I also plan on going to the band "Lights"at Wascana at the end of August as well as Praise in the Park in September. Other than that, I think my entertainment financial budget is pretty well sucked dry for awhile. All worth it though :) 110%. Money is great, but memories last much longer than any cent would.

Send me a message sometime! I would like to chat with you a little too much :)

Leave a comment if you like Milky Way. This is pretty much a threat.

Despite This Despite That

April 23 marks one year.

I've been thinking a lot the past few days about who'd I be if I hadn't made the choices I did. I've been at the University of Regina for over two years now and I can't imagine where else I'd be if I had not chose this program and this city. As much as I need a ton of self-improvement and change, I am so glad I decided I needed to come here - despite being the most expensive business program in Canada, despite being one of the most expensive cities, despite being furthest away from home... so many despite's...

It honestly makes me sad thinking about how much less I'd have. But the most influential thing that I have in my life that I've never had before is ultimately one thing, and one thing only. A powerful thing that, despite no matter how much I push it away, I don't think I will ever get rid of it. Even when I try so hard.

I think about the friends I made here. Never in my entire life have I had friends who genuinely have told me that they appreciate me, care for me, think I'm funny, smart, crazy, beautiful... and that they love me. Love me! I'm twenty years old and never felt so loved in my life by friends. It's absolutely baffling thinking about how much community there is and what I wouldn't have if I had chosen someplace else.

I think about how I met my closest friends. If it wasn't for the simple choice to go to a Young Adults night at FBC, or the complexity of "if I hadn't sat there, I wouldn't have talked to her". The 'what if's' can be pretty scary if you think about them too hard. And I am so grateful.

Grateful. Blessed. Thankful. There are no words. Because the more I think about these things the past few days, the more I know in my heart that there is no possible way that these things could have all happened. The ideaology of "it was meant to be" is just as true as me winning the million dollar lottery at the exact hour I chose to buy a ticket. Without God, without His plan, without His mercy, I wouldn't have been given any of these gifts. I wouldn't be surrounded by His grace. So much grace.

I think about the events I've been to, the things I've accomplished, how much fun I've had, how much smiling I've done.

And despite the hopelessness in the world, with Christ and the Kingdom of God - anything is possible.

April 23. It was a gloomy, rainy Easter Sunday in 2014. Evening came and I accepted Christ at a friend's house as my God, my savior...

Then morning came... my hope.

Who I'd be today without Him?

My Will

I could be in a room filled with emptiness
No family, no friends to see
Be blind, deaf, and have no ability to speak
Isolated in complete darkness with cold feet
But I will still seek you out willingly

I could be thrown in a house full of flames
No one to help, no one to save
Be beaten, whipped, and taken as slave
Hidden from the world with swollen fate
But I will still shout your name desperately

I could have the riches of the earth
All the gold, all the precious stones
Have entire joy, love, and peace by all
Lifted by the people of the world so tall
But I will still give you praise entirely

This is my will I give to you
I will always follow you

25 Things that Make Me Weird Part II

Since the last "25 Things that Make me Weird" went pretty successful last year, I thought I'd make you a part II. You're welcome. I hope we're able to become closer friends now that you know much more about me... weirdness and all. I apologize in advance if there is any repetition from Part I. I guess if there is, then that thing must be a significant weird thing about me. Enjoy.

In no particular order.

1. I have a severe case of movie-theatre-bathroom anxiety. For all those who do not suffer from this awfulness (which is likely all of you) allow me to briefly explain. I am the worst person to take to the movies. Not just because I'm your typical commentator throughout but because I will make you hold my popcorn while I go relieve my bladder... about six times before the trailers even begin. Sometimes more.

2. I am absolutely, completely 100%, totally in LOVE... with the smell of gasoline. Pumping gas is the favoritest (it's a word now) thing in the world. Whoever said you can't fall in love in 5 minutes has never had the luxurious opportunity to allow these magical fumes consume every inch of your likely-already-dead-brain-cells. It's magnificent.

3. I shake my legs off before I step out of the shower. That's all I have to say about that.

4. One of my greatest accomplishments in life is being able to open a can of "coke" with my teeth. I discovered this secret talent at a grad party... I'm sure of it.

5. I also love potato chips in my sandwiches. I'm pretty sure I discovered this at the same grad party... Take note: best invention ever. And party ever.

6. I absolutely hate asking for help to find something in a store. I will circle the aisle 67 times before I'll admit to the worker that I wasn't actually "just browsing, thanks". 

7. I don't have a problem telling my friends I love them every minute of every day but I find it alot harder to say it to my family. Perhaps because there isn't a word strong enough for them :)

8. I have a huge fear of fish. My roommate's pet fish had committed suicide last year but I'm pretty sure it jumped out in an attempt to kill me. No other reason seems logical.

9. I can't stand the word "whatever". I cringe more than any other curse word (known and/or made up) and get offended easily if I hear someone say it. With that being said, I will throw the occasional 'whatever' in replacement of the F Bomb if I'm particularly upset with ya.

10. I will likely talk more to your dog than I will with you if I'm visiting your home. Especially in awkward situations. That anti-social weirdo playing with your dog in the corner while everyone is cheering on a keg stand? ... that would be me

11. I'm fairly convinced the dentist thinks I'm a goon. The hygienists need to put extra paper bibs all around my face because something about hands being in my mouth makes me drool uncontrollably.

12. I cannot hold a pencil properly. Never could, never will. I pretty much need four of my fingers to get a sentence accomplished.

13. I have pretended to have a coughing attack just so I could turn my head and look at who is standing behind me. On several occasions.

14. I'm twenty years old and I still check behind a closed shower curtain before I go to the bathroom.

15. 90% of the time, I do the "Fake-A-Make-A-Bed" if I have company coming over. My sister, Harmony knows exactly what this is. And if you don't... well I won't call you a liar. Also, you likely never grew up with a nazi mother who did bed checks before school started. (Sorry mom, you're not a nazi. Just your cleaning OCD side is ;) loooove you).
[P.S. Harmony do you remember the old faithful endust "febreeze" version of dusting? HAHAHA awh man, the memories. Once mom smelled that lemon scented toxin she just HAD to believe that everything was dusted to par. Also, we're the laziest people in the world.]

16. My Christian music on my ipod sits within a scrolls length away from the most hardcore explicit rap music your ears will ever bleed to.

17. When I'm in a restaurant and I see the waiter/waitress coming with our food, I will avoid eye contact and pretend I didn't see them at all costs. I have no idea why. It makes things more awkward for both of us. Especially my "surprised face" when it arrives... as if I wasn't expecting food to be arriving at all.

18. Back at my childhood home, I still close my eyes until I am able to reach the light switch to turn them on. The monsters disappear when the lights are on, okay? Let's just be real here.

19. Despite doing laundry with a common working washing machine for years now, I still freeze in the moment of time during the last spin cycle. Just in case it's actually an earthquake and an airplane about to crash in my house simultaneously this time. You never know these days...

20. Whenever something falls in my closet in the middle of the night, I automatically think about what my obituary would read.

21. If my debit/credit card gets declined for whatever reason in a store, I start talking to the machine as if that would break the awkwardness between me and the cashier. "What the heck? Why aren't you working? Swipe? Chip error? K. Umm... *pushes twenty buttons at once* I don't know what's happening?" *sweats perversely*

22. I feel a huge urge to take off any rings I'm wearing before I'm about to eat something. As if it's going to spontaneously slip right off and lodge right into the back of my throat.

23. When a prof asks a question and the class is completely silent, I put my face two inches away from my paper and write jibber-ish notes at 110 miles per hour so it looks like I'm way too tensed up to be thinking about the question... even if I know the answer.

Example of these writings: "Today I saw a cat and I thought and said and told myself wow meow meow meow there's a cat. Also I'm scared of cats. Don't make eye contact. Don't pick me... don't pick me.. I drove to school today. What's the date today. Cats cats. Barking up the wrong tree. Oh thank God, someone finally answered the question. Talk to you later looseleaf. Good chat."

24. During a midterm exams, my stomach makes it a tradition to growl so loud that people turn around to look at me. I always think I'm being sneaky and go to look behind me to make it look like it was the person sitting behind me's stomach and not mine. Well, too bad I always manage to sit in the very back row. Talk about awkward! Who knew walls had stomachs!

25. Whenever I'm in an elevator with lots of people, I all of a sudden lose all ability to breathe. Heaven forbid the people around me notice I'm breathing...

Well there you go. All of these make up the awko taco me. Hopefully you all can relate, and if not, at least got a little bit of a chuckle and "Thank God I'm not friends with her".

Leave a comment if your breathing from your mouth right now too.