Only in Hollywood.

Yeah, I'm a youtube addict. I recently had watched my weekly Jenna Marbles episode (if you don't know who I'm talking about...well, youtube her. HILARIOUS). It was about what she had learned from watching Disney movies - quite funny but ironically, so very true. What she had listed in the video is all the fake perks in Disney movies. The beautiful princesses, half naked mermaids, and the romantic prince charmings who save their pathetic lives and live happily ever after blah blah blah crap. Once I think about it, I can't think of one Disney movie that doesn't have a stereotype. All the ugly, fat and old people ruin the beautiful, skinny princesses' lives. So, what is that teaching us when we're six years old? It teaches us to avoid these people. It shows in it's own way, that all step mother's are evil, we need our prince charming to "save" us before we can live our life (by the way: they get married when they're like 18! What the hell!?) and that the only thing we (females) can do is sing, cook and clean. Pffffftttt. Whatever!


I can just hear all the people who laugh at this, make disagreements and shake their head at my thoughts but think about it for a minute! When I first saw Jenna's video I couldn't stop thinking about her reasonings so I googled, "How Disney movies ruined..." and before I could finish my sentence there was a whole list of suggestions that linked me to other pages. They included:
- How Disney movies ruined my life
- How Disney movies ruined my childhood expectations
- How Disney movies taught me in life
- How Disney movies are unrealistic


After reading these suggestions, I found myself being silly. After all, I was thinking about how I could come up with reasons to bash a child's movie company.I had thought about letting go of my exaggerated frustrations, butI decided to push Enter instead and ended up reading a cluster of articles about real life stories of the Disney World dream. One story that stuck out, is about this young guy around his twenties and he had said, that he had believed he had to be the "Prince Charming" in his life. He had stated, he honestly believed that in order to have his happily ever after, he had to be the perfected "do everything right" gentleman - have the "right" job, make the "right", courageous choices as well as finding his Miss Perfected Princess. Turns out, this guy had quickly found out that this fantasy world he wanted to create is nothing but filled with disappointments,imperfections and mistakes. He had felt like he had been lied to, cheated upon, and other devastating eye openers. Big deal, or....?


It seems a bit silly to blame Disney movies for our misconceptions on life, but where else do we get these confused messages about life? Media is a HUGE influence on the way we live and how we develop stereotypical perspectives on gender roles. Especially for females. (I.e. the long, thick, beautiful hair. Pretty face. Handsome prince charming. Our talents include cooking and cleaning...and cleaning and cooking. OH, and singing. We need a man to live happily ever after. etc etc.) Where do we draw the line?


I think they should make a Disney movie about an mid size, broad woman with dark hair, who faces real life problems; such as what college or university she should go to, where she should live, and what job she should apply for in the meantime. The ending of the movie can still be happily ever after - with her realizing she can overcome these obstacles while becoming a millionaire as she watches the much weaker male species line up to serve her ;) hehehe. I like it. I feel much better now knowing my dream is realistic and not some fake, unrealistic Disney World. 


Muahahaha. Anway, there's my thoughts :) Opinions!? Make your comments. Bring it on!!! ;) Haha

Putting a Mad Woman Asleep

Controlling frustration. Wow, am I having a hard time doing this lately. I get to the point where I become so angry and impatient with things I can't even handle the way I think and react. For the most part, I'm able to keep my outbursts, freakouts, meltdowns, etc inside, but it's when I'm alone that I need things to change. When I'm alone, I bring out all these crazy emotions that I don't know how to control. When I'm alone, I become someone I don't even know. I just feel awful about myself and the way things are. I honestly do not know how to be in control when I get into that state of mind. The problem with me is, I'll vent with someone all I can and want, talk about my problems all I can and want, write, walk, run, whatever - but it still doesn't make all the anger away.

What am I so frustrated about? There's a list of things. I can't just pinpoint it to one thing, person or issue. I guess what I've learned from all this, is that I cannot go around blaming the world for my problems. I am my own problem. It's me. No other person, place or thing. But I have... no MUST... remember that I'm also my own solution (thanks Megan, from Bridesmaids :) ) I think what I need to do, is say that over and over in my mind. Maybe then I'll believe it. "I am my own solution" ... "I am my own solution."

I'm starting to feel a little more optimistic about the way things are going right now. I still have a few things to check off of my 'do this a healthy way' list but that's okay. Not everything is going to happen overnight. When an issue comes up, I have to deal with it right away. No more, "whatever, I'll do with it later" type of attitude is going to be coming out of me. I have to start trying, start caring, start dealing with reality instead of ignoring and pretending it isn't here.

People are going to judge. People are going to bash decisions being made. There are going to be things I don't want to do or deal with. There are going to be places I don't want to go - but changing my attitude towards these situations will hopefully change the way I view myself and lifestyle. Because I CAN keep going. And I will.

Question of the day: How do you release frustration and anger ?

Opting Optimism :)

When the sky is no longer blue,

do not ration dark for eternity.

The clouds will part,

and the stars will speak to you.

No matter what harm or fear that dreams,

only yourself can hurt your faith.

Be hopeful.

The brightness from the light will charm,

bringing all success and prosperity.

Allow the confident thinking brew,

while embracing the gentle midnight howl.

Do not give up on your heroes,

for they're searching for their own inspiration.

Be patient.

Seek your own peace and salvation,

as it is near, you will feel soon.

Fight for what is right and true,

you can conquer anything what you put your mind to

Look deeply, your vision will show

all can be true 

Only if you want it to.

Believe. Always.

Anticipating Anxiety

I haven't wrote in awhile so I thought I'd catch up with my own life by writing what I've been up to.Haha, go figure. This will be boring to everyone else, I can assure.

This last month has been crazy hectic. I've been stressing over alot of things: volleyball, homework, friends, school, and other little things that annoy and bother me on a daily basis. It's weird for me because I'd consider myself a pretty easy going, "everything will get done in time" patient type of person. But lately, I find myself going crazy! 

Volleyball. As much as I hate myself for admitting this, but I'm already sick of the sport and the commitment that comes with it. I honestly dread going to practices, league and tournaments. Sometimes I wonder why I even play and not just up and quit right now. I suppose for a number of reasons, but the main one being; I'm scared I'll regret it. I know that in ten or twenty years for now, I won't remember if we won that game or lost that tournament or not... what I'll remember is what Sam said at the supper table, or the hilarious comments said in the changeroom targeted at Rookie. It'll be a positive memory to look upon, that's a for sure. 

But still -

I cannot help but to imagine the time I would have to think about who I am or how I would have a weekend to actually have some rest & relaxation and just enjoy myself.Also, the guilt I have when I'm not home to help and be with my mom. It's hard doing something you hate doing. I have to ask myself, Why did I put myself in this position to begin with?

Homework. No comment. "It's not due until tomorrow at 1:00. I can do it at recess... at 12:55." :/

Something else that's been a circus in itself, is friends. I've been hanging around a select few and often spend my free time with them. Depending who I'm with, they either make me feel uncomfortable and feeling like I need to leave...RIGHT NOW. Or there'd be the odd 2-3 friends who actually accept my self strangeness - where I can actually feel comfortable being myself around them. I tried to surround myself with these people but sometimes, well sometimes I don't feel up to it or when I do, I just feel like I can't embrace the moment and enjoy it. It's something dumb about me, I know...

School has been so stressful. I can honestly say I absolutely, positively hate ALL of the courses I'm taking. To make this short and sweet here's why...

Bio: I'd rather knock myself into a coma then to just try and be interested in it.

Physics: When am I ever going to use Sin theta = mc triangle thingy T. or in other words: 我討厭物理

Math: self explanatory. no further comment.

History: nothing changes and I still don't know how an assassination led to WWI

Sewing: shoot me in the face.

Phys ed: ....................................why.

There's a whole lot of other things going on and I definitely need to have a better attitude about all of it. I just don't know where to start.