20 second red lights & changing my life

20 seconds. That’s how long it will take you to wait at a red light at the intersection of Park & Dewdney at 9:25 pm on a Friday night. I’m sitting on the deck off of my backdoor right now facing a dark alley listening to Z99’s top hit list and the sound of rubber on pavement travelling at 100 km/hr on ring road. Since I live upstairs of a duplex, I feel safe sitting out here at night. The night crawlers of the evening cannot eat me when I’m a story high in the air. Haha J

It’s a rather quiet night in my neighbourhood. Besides the minuscule traffic noise, it reminds me of taking walks in my small town either by myself or a pack of friends late on summer nights. It makes me miss it. But reminiscing does that to person. I am thankful I am in Regina now. I’ve met some great people while living here and I think despite the freedoms of small town living; I can get over myself, and accept the timed green, yellow, red. I’m already in love the clink clank of the train passing through every five or so minutes at night; the horn blaring, playing as my lullaby. I find it now that without the noise pollution that the trains creates, it’s incredibly hard for me to fall asleep. Call me crazy, but I’m just an honest person.

I’m not sure how much longer I can last out here. It’s getting a little chilly – even with two shirts and a sweater on. But I refused to stay in my dark, stuffy room when I know I have a porch light outside and that air is fresher. City fresh that is. But that’s as good as it gets and I’m okay with it.

If you were to ask me at the beginning of the week if I was looking forward to staying in Regina over the summer, I’d shrug my shoulders at you and give you a “I don’t know, don’t ask me questions that I don’t know the answers to” look. But if you were to ask me the same question tonight, I’d smile at you. I have a good feeling about it. God has put some great people in my life and I know that I can benefit from it.

Mmm… someone’s doing laundry. Saying “mmm” is a weird thing to write but something about taking in the sweet smell of Tide and Bounce is refreshing to me. Someone has some serious motivation to get their laundry done on a Friday night. But what do I know about motivation; I’m sitting on my deck freezing my toes off while I write on a virtual piece of paper because I’m too lazy to do much else. Ooohh, an alley vehicle creeper. Some movement down yonder!

Nevermind. It’s just my neighbor that I’ve never met that pulled into their gravel driveway.

I can’t remember nor do I feel like checking (another reflection of my self motivation) if I mentioned that I joined a Young Adults group. I joined back in February or so and I only have one regret about this – that I didn’t join sooner. I would go as far as saying that it’s changing my life. There’s some great people in that group and I’ve never felt so much encouragement in my life. I find though, that sometimes when I think about it too much (which is often – too often), or look into the bible study deeper than need be, I begin to doubt more and start to convince myself indirectly that it’s just another distraction in my life. It’s a struggle. But I’ve just learned recently that I have support I need. I guess that’s what makes it good for me.

There must be a flashing bright billboard or a streetlight that’s shorting out 45 degrees from where I am. Every once in awhile I think I’m showing signs of a seizure or seeing the blinding gates of heaven out of the corner of my eye. It’s an annoyance! A quirk of the neighbourhood I’m in. I should be thankful. At least I’m not a short kilometers north in the redlight district of Regina. Sketchy stuff.

On second thought, I don’t think that’s Tide detergent. Maybe Gain, or another brand I don’t use.

Time to go in to see if the suffocating air has exited my room. Maybe I’ll even turn my light on.

Goodnight Regina! I hear my train coming.