Monday, 6 January 2014

Twenty five things that make me Weird

25 things that make me weird. Yes, these are embarrassing but maybe some of you will admit to doing the same. If not, I’ll settle with spending the next few years in psych ward :)

1. I have dance parties by myself in the car. Hard. Core. And I sing too. Yet, I decline pretty well every dance request at formal celebrations (weddings, etc). I’m a great singer by the way.

2. I don’t claim myself as superstitious however it seems like whenever I look at the clock it always reads 9:11 …. Then I feel like I have to stare at it until it turns to 9:12.

3. I’m unable to use change when going through a drive thru. I will have the exact amount of coins needed for my purchase sitting in my cup holder, screaming at me to use them. But for some reason I end up panicking and end up breaking a hundred dollar bill for a 99 cent purchase.

4. When eating chips in front of others I always go for the smallest one in the bowl and slowly chomp on it. Sometimes it could take twenty minutes before I go for a second one. When I’m by myself, I try to fit 15 in my mouth at once and eat with my mouth open letting the crumbs go flying. I’m a disgusting human.

5. I’m one of those awful people who, when in wal mart, makes a spontaneous decision that I should buy bananas. Then later while in the toilet paper aisle I decide that I don’t want them and instead of putting them back, I shove them alongside the toilet paper and cleaning supplies as if no one will notice.

6. If I’m unable to understand someone with a strong accent, for some reason I always nod my head and agree. One time I ended up buying a supersized smartie sundae and a large rootbeer when all I wanted was a small cone. And I can’t even have rootbeer.

7. I starch and iron my pajama pants when they come out of the dryer. That’s all I have to say about that.

8. I move my lips instead of the stick when putting on chapstick. I should not be allowed to do that in public.

9. I always manage to make eye contact with someone while eating a banana. It’s weird for both of us.

10. My friend and I snorted pepper once. It was awful. I remember sneezing for about an hour straight.

11. I have a geographical tongue. So when I’m sick, eat strawberries, pineapple, or kiss someone my tongue always swells up like a balloon. So embarrassing hahaha.

12. If I’m driving downtown and there’s a perfect spot available to park where I want to go but no where else and it requires parallel parking, I am willing park 12 blocks away before I would attempt to do the parallel parking. I once parked at the SGI compound lot downtown and walked the rest of the way to Scarth Street.

13. I hate running on a treadmill beside some else running on a treadmill. I feel like I’m racing them so I end up turning up the speed, making frequent awkward eye contact, and end up nearly passing out within the first five minutes.

14. If the dishwasher is full and I’m unable to fit the one dish left in the sink, I will run the dishwasher, empty it and run it again just so I don’t have to wash that one dish. Maybe that’s not weird… maybe that’s just being lazy.

15. I have about 30 gift cards in my wallet. Haven’t used any for about two years. But I have good intentions.

16. In my hometown, if I’m home alone and have to go down to the basement. I always sprint up the stairs within 0.123221934 seconds of shutting off the lights. Even at 19 years old….

17. Instead of shoveling the driveway in the winter, I start the car and pin the gas going forward and reverse for about fifty times, or until the snow has become sufficiently flat to drive on in case another snow storm comes along. Again, maybe I’m just outrageously lazy.

18. If I’m driving with someone else and great song comes on that we both know, I always feel like I have to impress them by singing out loud to prove I know ALL the words. Even if I don’t know them. Then I just make up my own words and sing loud enough so they don’t realize that the words I’m singing aren’t actually the real lyrics.

19. When I first get into the shower, the first thing I do is soap myself up. But by the end of the shower, I feel like I got dirty trying to wash my hair so I have soap myself up again. Totally weird I know.

20. When buying feminine products, I check the aisle to see if anybody is there or even close before I make the move. Once in hand, I buy worthless stuff to cover it up in the shopping cart. Then while in the check out, I quickly throw it on the conveyer belt and shove stuff all around it and look the other way as if I’m not the one who wants to buy them. My $6.99 purchase ends up being a $119 one.

21. If I feel like I’m in a shopping mood, I get myself all ready and head to mall. Then while there, I don’t want to go into any of the stores and I end up just circling the mall thirteen times before I decide it’s time to hit the food court.

22. I get all awkward when a clothing retail worker asks me if I need any help while I’m in the change room. Ellen DeGeneres said it best, “what could possibly going so wrong while I’m in there? AHHHHH, HELP!!! JENNY, MY BRA IS UP MY A**!!!”

23. I don’t read novels. Not necessarily because I don’t like reading, but because when I do pick up a novel, I have to finish it. There’s no such thing as putting it down for an hour or two. Even if I’m exhausted, desperately needing to go to the bathroom, and have not had anything to eat for twelve hours. That novel. Must. Get. Finished.

24. I am unable to stay in my pajamas all day. As soon as I get up, I HAVE to get dressed. I feel disgusting and gross if I don’t.

25. I am able to make it through until the end on the scariest ride at an exhibition but when it comes to swinging… I want to throw up by the time I kick on the third pump.

What are some things that make you weird? Do you share any of this weirdness with me?
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Please Note: the image above is off of the cover of the novel "Hyperbole and a Half" by Allie Brosh. All rights reserved to their respective owners. OH & YOU SHOULD CLICK ON THE AD BELOW. Just for the fun of it ;) Yay for clicking on ads!!


Harmony G said...

Omg I laughed because most of those I share with you.

Anonymous said...

Um so I read your list and I laughed. Then I clicked the ad.

Auntie Bonnie said...

we are all the same except you said it out loud. bhahahahaha