Sunday, 26 February 2012

Old entries #3 - Chasing time vs Running out

Just so everyone knows, I’m importing all my old entries from my other site onto this one so everything is in one place. Feel free to comment :)

Chasing time vs. Running out

This has been bothering me for a very long time. Before I say anymore, I want to make it clear that this entry isn't ment to judge or criticize or bash decisions made by anyone. I just would like to get my opinion out there and see who agrees and sees what I see in my reasoning. :) Yay.

Females - what is our goal in life? That might be too broad of a question, or perhaps there are numerous goals we have. I think we can all agree that in our society - past and present - our goal is to find the man of our "dreams". By dreams I mean this: someone who can take care of us (finacially), create a family and care for them and live happily ever after.  (By the way, I'm not a feminist or believe anything along those lines. It's just the way I view all of this.) Okay, first of all I would like to note where our career fits in all of this. Hmmm... let's put this in perspective.

We go to school for 13 years, then we pick and choose a career which then let's just say a plus four years on top of that for post secondary. So approximately 17 years we spend our life in school - by now we are well into our twenties, well educated and ready for our Life to begin! YAY. Meanwhile, while all this is happening Mr. Right comes into our path - which isn't a bad thing at all. We like Mr. Right after all ;) ... the problem is, we just started our new "Life" which we waited almost two decades for. Now what? We can't think of our life being better without Mr. Right so of course, we marry. Again, nothing wrong with that.

Okay, now we have started a few years into our career with our new marriage life. Fantastic! Life is wonderful!! Ready or not, we will be pressured to having children - after all we are pushing into our thirties, all our friends are having babies and we want the great reward of joy children bring us. This is where I see all the problems beginning.

What happened to our personal goal? Was it just to care for children and our husband? What about ourselves? Where do our ambitions and hobbies and likes and interests go? (To me, I am NOT being selfish by saying those things by the way). I have the answer: in the garbage - with the diapers, unfinished sandwiches and broken toys. What happened to that 17 years of schooling? That wonderful career and happy life? As females, we are expected to drop everything to care and support everyone else. I know I'll get comments stating, "there are good men and excellent, caring husbands out there that will still make sure you get what you need to keep that 'happy' life with personal goals that don't involve children - or anyone else." etc etc. Okay, that IS true. I won't argue with it. But that still doesn't change the fact, or my opinion, that we are still expected to be the 'nuturer in life. To me, this isn't fair. Yes, life isn't fair but this can easily be changed.

I would like to know who decided that the man gets to keep his position in life with his lovely career, hardly changing his lifestyle at all for OUR children. That might be a bit harsh to say, but c'mon... it's true in almost every family. (Notice key word: *almost*) What role do our husbands play in this happy go, lucky life? First thing I can think of is $$. Okay, sounds like somewhat of a deal. We are stuck at home with the children while the husband works his butt off to pay the bills so we can make ends meet. Wait a minute... we can do that too. We had a career once. We were making $$ at a very short time in our life. Why can't we have back what we earned earlier in our life, before children were born? ... Like the old saying goes, "you can't have two good things at once."

Now our children have grown up, have their own careers and starting their own life. Our Mr. Right can now retire and we move away to a better location. Perhaps this is where many try to get back the original goals and ambitions we had, maybe even discovering new interests and hobbies to enjoy. HA! Hello grandchildren... grandma made cookies...
P.S. I am not saying children are horrible beasts that pop into life bringing no joy or happiness for us to endeavour. My point is, what makes life enjoyable; the life we create (ourself only) or the lives we care for (everyone else)?

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